My Testimony

I wrote this via facebook a couple years ago.  I still cry to see what God has done since then.  If you ever question your worth, read this.  A friend posted her testimony on facebook today and it targeted my heart to share this once again.  We ARE loved, we CAN be forgiven,  we ARE his children....we just need to accept his love for us.  I did and it radically changed my life.  I love how all of our lives as Christians look so different but glorify and lift up the same purpose.


As I ponder over the time line of my life, I am just amazed at God's unfailing love and His sovereignty. He has always been there working in me from one experience to the next to bring myself to Him and then to ultimately bring glory to Him. I am just humbled and I shutter to think of the person I used to be. I gave my life to Christ at the age of 21 and have never looked back. My only prayer is that when you meet me, you see Jesus in some way :) Here is my testimony.

I grew up in a home in Hickory NC. My parents loved myself and my sister and were great. They pushed us to succeed in all we did. I in no way want to disrepect my parents through my writing and I have the best relationship with my mother. There were things in my life growing up that I have learned from and do not put them in my children's lives to see. My home was not absent of alcohol or drugs and my father was a very argumentative soul. If you knew me then, you would say the same about me. I strived to be the daddy's girl. I really don't know what happened when I reached those teenage years. I gave myself to men at an early age..to early. Cigarettes, Alcohol and Drugs came next. I was a very hateful person. I did welll in school, A/B honor roll but i rebelled against any one who questioned my actions or got in my way. I was even to the point of cussing my German teacher out in high school. After high school did not go well either. I had already been to the point of suicide. I met a guy and lived with him for a year or so. NOTHING good came out of this relationship except for the fact that I finally moved back in with my parents. I then moved in with a friend and continued the party/drug scene. And then one night was the changing point in my life..here it is.

I was taking some friends home from an evening of partying. A night that did not go well at all. After fighting with a very loved friend, I packed up several drunken and overly drugged friends in my two seater pick up truck. Yes, five extra people. I was taking them home to end a night of Hell. Somehow I look at that time and know that if what happened next did not change my direction, something else would have. I was just not satisfied, not fulfilled and did not know why. I definitely had no worth as a person. Anyway, heading back to what happened. I was driving while intoxicated with what was left of an eightball of cocaine in my pocket when the most dreaded thing happened. A sherriff pulled me over. I had three men in the back of my truck and two girls sharing the front seat. He asked to see my license and i explained that I was driving everyone home. Now understand, I am wasted. I don't know how in the world he did not smell the alchohol or see the drugs in my eyes. I still to this day feel as if God put blinders on his eyes. The officer said the reason he pulled me over was my safety. He saw the guys in the back of my truck and with the time of morning, wanted to make sure that I was safe. He let me go. HE LET ME GO!!!! I then realized that I would have been in jail if he had not. My heart was changed then. I took everyone home, refused to party further and again went home to my parents. I cannot tell you or even explain the understanding of where my life was going after that moment. I proceeded directly to my parents house again (poor guys) and made a choice for the better. As I continued to ponder on that evening with fear and thankfulness for what happened, I continued my life as I knew it. I went to work as a accounting clerk where I had been working for a few months. This was in September. October 14th 1997 was my first date with Brian. We had worked together for a few months and I thought he was a bad boy. His ears were pierced, His car had a good system (HA!), and he looked good :) Let's just say, I was in church in a few weeks with him. He turned out to be the lighthouse i needed to point to the way of God. Wow...I just get shivers because I KNOW who I was. God worked in my life to bring me to Him more and more each week. I heard many a message of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. It wasn't until one day, driving home from Brian's that I accepted it. Yes, I am one of the radio converts :) I can't tell you who was preaching, but I can tell you the sharp curve on a curvy road thru Taylorsville where I accepted Jesus as Lord. I can't tell you what the message on the radio was, but I can tell you I was/am forever changed. I can tell you that one that blasphemes God, one that hates others, one that steals, one that prostitutes herself, one that everyone looses hope on can still sit at the feet of Jesus. Yes, they can. I have asked forgiveness and the grace of Jesus abounds for all that ask.

Through this awesome new relationship with Christ, I have learned that joy comes from Him and happiness is circumstantial. I have learned that my "old" self can creep into my life but if I live in the Spririt all falls into place. 

Believe me when I say, not everything has been easy. But thank God I don't have to do it myself. A few months after my wedding I lost my father (who was radically changed thru God's grace in the end). I was baptized on May 7th 2000 and was at my father's last breath on May 17th. I watched a very quick battle of cancer take away someone very dear to my heart. I can't wait to see him again as he has missed all these grandchildren and they i am sure will miss knowing him. I was blessed to get a glimpse of what it is like to have a Christian father just for a few months, and hold onto that with all my heart and treasure it. I thank God for a mother who is my best friend. I also battled infertility for seven years. In the midst of these years we felt called to adopt and through foster care. We have had seven children in our home since 2004 and have been blessed to adopt three. I have learned to fight through this experience...to fight the good fight. Demanding excellence in the lives of children and God has changed my heart so much through children coming in and out of our lives this way. We were finally blessed with a great pregnancy in 2007 and in June 2008 had our own biological son. Wow..i just love pondering the time line of my life. It humbles me greatly to see how God works and how fast time goes by. 

As I was studying my Bible this morning, I almost laughed at the hinderance the Bible tabs gave me in turning thru my Bible. I remember putting those on back in 1997 because I was so scared I would not know where to turn when the Pastor called a certain verse. I am so humbled at my growth in the word from the day I put those tabs on. I never want to let go of that Bible because it reminds me of how I never want to stop maturing in the word. I love the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul. I will forever share what he did and still does in my life. 

It is hard to explain in words the pit of Hell that God plucked me from. But I can tell you that my goal in life is to live Christ. I absolutely LOVE when people look at me now, who knew me then, and say what happened? Time to give God some glory, because it had nothing to do with me.