Music

My children have started a band....a very loud one indeed.  They each have their own individual instruments all of which include a keyboard, guitar, bongos, several overturned containers and LOT of sticks.  There is also one conductor of the group.  Any guess who it is?  Jessica likes to lead the group in her own way of “we are doing this” and  “don’t do that’s”.   In a band of children eight years old and younger, you can imagine everyone basically beats to the tune of their own music, which is apparently made up in their head, the music only a mom can be proud of.  I am sure the music can creep up to noise measurements that even those in space can here.

However; I have been watching my older two take piano lessons.  Jessica, particularly, has really grown and enjoyed it.  She practices every day on her own accord and it gives her something that is her very own.  Watching her bang on the piano months ago to seeing her actually play the notes and sing the little song that goes with the music melts this momma’s heart.  She is reading and following the music of that which has been written before her, and it is in order, it sounds melodic, and it is beautiful. 

God always seems to teach us through our children.  He pierced my heart while watching the ever so funny but loud chaotic sounds of children following the beat of their own drum and then watching a child follow well written music to perform a beautiful song.  Now, the loud beats of their own music is music to my ears because it is creativity coming from my children that also provokes laughter in the moment.  However; there is something to be said about the music that comes from written form, practiced on and played beautifully.  

God breathes in His word : 

Train up a child in the 

way he should go,

And when he is old

he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6

The word train means to make proficient with specialized instruction and practice.  Parents, what we do every day is eternal.  From changing diapers, to dealing with temper tantrums, to dealing with talk back.....it is still eternal.  How we react, is eternal.  It is what we teach them ourselves.  They will dance to the beat of their own drum and only because that is all they know what to do without formal training.  The definition goes with the scripture in such a way that it shows specialization. Each child is different and it is good practice to train, discipline and guide each child as they are individually set for their own paths in the Lord.  We should be able to identify strengths and weaknesses within our children and work on those individually all the while discovering who it is God wants them to be.  They are precious in God’s eyes....yes, even when they are in full blown temper tantrum mode, they are precious.  The definition also goes past just giving instruction.  Practice goes along with all training.  Practice is teaching your child and doing it over and over again so that their reaction is the training you have given them in the situation.  Make sense?  I am going to call out Jake here.  Jake has always been a grumpy little fella.  Most know him as my fun loving dancing 8 year old.  However, when things do not go his way, he pouts, shouts or cries.  It has gotten better over the years as I have shown him his behavior, why it is bad, and what he could have done.  I just did not tell him when he was three to stop yelling at his siblings, we have worked hard and constant on the practice of putting that anger aside and using his words.  We are not there yet and I still have to find truth that I throw my little temper tantrums every now and then too.  It is a process, and living in this world, not one that will be complete until we stand with Jesus.  

Parents, as cute as it is to see and hear your children form a band and beat to the tune of their own music, it is not so fun watching it lived out as others are raising our children and the world pours into them what we are not.  We are to grab a hold of them during the time we have them in the evening after school, as we drive in the car, take a walk, or just cuddle time and train them in the way they should go.  To do this we have to know our children and pour our lives into them.  Train them and practice putting off the bad and putting on the good.  The fruit from this is amazing and eternal.  The music they will play in their lives when they get older will be their own as God intended but will be based upon righteous training.  And as I have discovered, music with training is much more melodic and pleasing to the ears.

We can love....or we can love!

I once heard a mother on a radio station saying that when she taught her children to do they were to take it one step further.  Example:  Jake, please take your dirty clothes to the laundry room.  He was to challenge himself to take it one step further by thinking on his own.  Putting in the washing machine himself would be an example.  I try my best to parent my children to have this heart.  It does not always happen, some days I just get plain disobedience.  However, more than not, they will take it one step further and in that they show love.  They can love me and honor me by doing the task asked of them but then....they can grasp my heart with overwhelming love when they think outside the box on how they can serve more.  This folks, will not go void.   The fruit from this training is sweet and can be used to change the hearts of man.  This chases after the very heart of Christ.

Matt 20:26-28
But among you it will be different. Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must become your slave.  For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.

Teaching our children to constantly think of the next step teaches them to be the to be servants and thus one day strong leaders with a Christ-like heart.   Let's teach them to love to serve and then lets teach them to serve is to love.

Let's try this out ourselves....our husbands/wives deserve it, our children deserve it back to them, our neighbors deserve it, our city deserves it......our nation needs to learn from it.  The spirit of giving more of us for the sake of others.

On My Mind

A song triggered my mind this morning. It was "You Can Have Me" by Sidewalk prophets.  In the lyrics it says this:

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?


I was immediately taken back to a quote that we put on Jake's adoption announcement.  You see, we prayed for this little guy for a long time.  The desire of a child consumed our lives.  To share our love with someone was everything we hoped for.  Our prayers were answered but in an entirely different way than what we were praying for.  Our little guy did not look like us and he was not ours for quite a while. For a year and a half we had to learn through God's grace that love is not easy.  We learned thru fostering Jake for 18 months before his adoption that it was risky, wonderful, exciting, terrifying and really every other emotion you can think of.  We lived daily with the idea that our love may be lost, that at any moment he could be taken away.  It did not make sense to us and handling our emotions through it all was only from God's love and grace upon our lives.  This is the quote we put on his adoption announcement and my thoughts added to it.


IF HUMAN LOVE DOES NOT CARRY A MAN BEYOND HIMSELF, IT IS NOT LOVE.  IF LOVE IS ALWAYS DISCREET, ALWAYS WISE, ALWAYS SENSIBLE AND CALCULATING, NEVER CARRIED BEYOND ITSELF, IT IS NOT LOVE AT ALL.  IT MAY BE AFFECTION, IT MAY BE WARMTH OF FEELING, BUT IT HAS NOT THE TRUE NATURE OF LOVE IN IT.            ~OSWALD CHAMBERS


If we have learned anything in this adventure, it is that love is not merely a feeling.  It is going against the grain of our own desires only to reap the blessings of submitting to the will of the Most High.  Praise be to God as we celebrate the adoption of our son....Jacob Alexander Wacaster


Writing that was so easy when I was on the other side of the adoption.  Going through the waiting, the court dates, the visits, etc. was the time that God refined my knowledge of what love is.  On top of that he added a three year wait  for the adoption of Jessica.  We also loved and lost children.  It did not make sense to us at the time why we had to go through something so gut wrenching to have a child.  I can look back on that now and say that it does not have to make sense.  God knows the beautiful big picture and he knew the pure joys were going to experience through that fire, now, and even what is to come as He molds these children into the people He is calling them to be.  


As I sit in another hard place in my life of waiting I had to recall this experience.  My pleading and praying for this house to sell seems to be sitting in the throne room of Heaven without an answer.  These 7 months have been so hard trying to keep up a house while Brian works 60 plus hours a week and travels on top of the loss we have to take to sell it.  It is humbling, it is hard, painful and tearful.  I cry out to God as to how he expects me to disciple my children and spend time with them if I am constantly cleaning and His answer is always "through me".  Selling our house, planting a church, fighting for family time with Brian's relentless work and travel schedule, going to a place we don't know, leaving a church and people we absolutely adore....these are refining moments again.  


I am reminded (although this is still breaking me) that He does call for my life....he does ask me to leave everything behind, and it does not need to make sense.  My love for God is so much more.  It consumes my soul and my thanks pour out to Him for what He has done and can do through little ol' me.  His all consuming love, that unconditional love of the Father, sent His son to die for us.  This did not make sense.  Why an innocent man, Jesus, died for you and for me does not make sense.  It is life changing and it is all consuming.  People die for it.  People yearn for it. People have been changed by it.  I have.


Thank you God that love does not have to make sense and that your love is the example we need to live by even though hard sometimes.  May we go back to our prior experiences and see the victory in them to give us hope for the trials we are going through now.  Let your love always move me and consume me to be the light you have called me to be.  Comfort my pains as the way I handle thing is not always perfect but thank you for the hope you have given me.  ~Amen


Anything God call us to is going to have opposition, still has to allow for God's perfect timing, and will always demand we rely on his strength.  Prayers for our family are appreciated as we work through moving, planting, defending family time in Brian's work, and raising our five beautiful blessings.


Father of love, you can have me.      And oh, the joys that are to come!!!!

My Testimony

I wrote this via facebook a couple years ago.  I still cry to see what God has done since then.  If you ever question your worth, read this.  A friend posted her testimony on facebook today and it targeted my heart to share this once again.  We ARE loved, we CAN be forgiven,  we ARE his children....we just need to accept his love for us.  I did and it radically changed my life.  I love how all of our lives as Christians look so different but glorify and lift up the same purpose.


As I ponder over the time line of my life, I am just amazed at God's unfailing love and His sovereignty. He has always been there working in me from one experience to the next to bring myself to Him and then to ultimately bring glory to Him. I am just humbled and I shutter to think of the person I used to be. I gave my life to Christ at the age of 21 and have never looked back. My only prayer is that when you meet me, you see Jesus in some way :) Here is my testimony.

I grew up in a home in Hickory NC. My parents loved myself and my sister and were great. They pushed us to succeed in all we did. I in no way want to disrepect my parents through my writing and I have the best relationship with my mother. There were things in my life growing up that I have learned from and do not put them in my children's lives to see. My home was not absent of alcohol or drugs and my father was a very argumentative soul. If you knew me then, you would say the same about me. I strived to be the daddy's girl. I really don't know what happened when I reached those teenage years. I gave myself to men at an early age..to early. Cigarettes, Alcohol and Drugs came next. I was a very hateful person. I did welll in school, A/B honor roll but i rebelled against any one who questioned my actions or got in my way. I was even to the point of cussing my German teacher out in high school. After high school did not go well either. I had already been to the point of suicide. I met a guy and lived with him for a year or so. NOTHING good came out of this relationship except for the fact that I finally moved back in with my parents. I then moved in with a friend and continued the party/drug scene. And then one night was the changing point in my life..here it is.

I was taking some friends home from an evening of partying. A night that did not go well at all. After fighting with a very loved friend, I packed up several drunken and overly drugged friends in my two seater pick up truck. Yes, five extra people. I was taking them home to end a night of Hell. Somehow I look at that time and know that if what happened next did not change my direction, something else would have. I was just not satisfied, not fulfilled and did not know why. I definitely had no worth as a person. Anyway, heading back to what happened. I was driving while intoxicated with what was left of an eightball of cocaine in my pocket when the most dreaded thing happened. A sherriff pulled me over. I had three men in the back of my truck and two girls sharing the front seat. He asked to see my license and i explained that I was driving everyone home. Now understand, I am wasted. I don't know how in the world he did not smell the alchohol or see the drugs in my eyes. I still to this day feel as if God put blinders on his eyes. The officer said the reason he pulled me over was my safety. He saw the guys in the back of my truck and with the time of morning, wanted to make sure that I was safe. He let me go. HE LET ME GO!!!! I then realized that I would have been in jail if he had not. My heart was changed then. I took everyone home, refused to party further and again went home to my parents. I cannot tell you or even explain the understanding of where my life was going after that moment. I proceeded directly to my parents house again (poor guys) and made a choice for the better. As I continued to ponder on that evening with fear and thankfulness for what happened, I continued my life as I knew it. I went to work as a accounting clerk where I had been working for a few months. This was in September. October 14th 1997 was my first date with Brian. We had worked together for a few months and I thought he was a bad boy. His ears were pierced, His car had a good system (HA!), and he looked good :) Let's just say, I was in church in a few weeks with him. He turned out to be the lighthouse i needed to point to the way of God. Wow...I just get shivers because I KNOW who I was. God worked in my life to bring me to Him more and more each week. I heard many a message of the saving grace of Jesus Christ. It wasn't until one day, driving home from Brian's that I accepted it. Yes, I am one of the radio converts :) I can't tell you who was preaching, but I can tell you the sharp curve on a curvy road thru Taylorsville where I accepted Jesus as Lord. I can't tell you what the message on the radio was, but I can tell you I was/am forever changed. I can tell you that one that blasphemes God, one that hates others, one that steals, one that prostitutes herself, one that everyone looses hope on can still sit at the feet of Jesus. Yes, they can. I have asked forgiveness and the grace of Jesus abounds for all that ask.

Through this awesome new relationship with Christ, I have learned that joy comes from Him and happiness is circumstantial. I have learned that my "old" self can creep into my life but if I live in the Spririt all falls into place. 

Believe me when I say, not everything has been easy. But thank God I don't have to do it myself. A few months after my wedding I lost my father (who was radically changed thru God's grace in the end). I was baptized on May 7th 2000 and was at my father's last breath on May 17th. I watched a very quick battle of cancer take away someone very dear to my heart. I can't wait to see him again as he has missed all these grandchildren and they i am sure will miss knowing him. I was blessed to get a glimpse of what it is like to have a Christian father just for a few months, and hold onto that with all my heart and treasure it. I thank God for a mother who is my best friend. I also battled infertility for seven years. In the midst of these years we felt called to adopt and through foster care. We have had seven children in our home since 2004 and have been blessed to adopt three. I have learned to fight through this experience...to fight the good fight. Demanding excellence in the lives of children and God has changed my heart so much through children coming in and out of our lives this way. We were finally blessed with a great pregnancy in 2007 and in June 2008 had our own biological son. Wow..i just love pondering the time line of my life. It humbles me greatly to see how God works and how fast time goes by. 

As I was studying my Bible this morning, I almost laughed at the hinderance the Bible tabs gave me in turning thru my Bible. I remember putting those on back in 1997 because I was so scared I would not know where to turn when the Pastor called a certain verse. I am so humbled at my growth in the word from the day I put those tabs on. I never want to let go of that Bible because it reminds me of how I never want to stop maturing in the word. I love the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul. I will forever share what he did and still does in my life. 

It is hard to explain in words the pit of Hell that God plucked me from. But I can tell you that my goal in life is to live Christ. I absolutely LOVE when people look at me now, who knew me then, and say what happened? Time to give God some glory, because it had nothing to do with me.

Flowers....not weeds!

I was reminded during my quiet moment this morning (yes, i actually got a minute to be quiet) about a memory of my childhood.  I remember in my younger elementary years searching to please my teacher with a flower to brighten her day.  Once I found that pretty flower on the edge of the woods at the playground, I was so excited to present this to her.  I welled up with joy as I went up to give her something that I thought she would think was just beautiful.  Her words to me have set in over the years...."That is not a flower, it is a weed".  As children, we see everything with imagination and beauty.  It is somewhere in adulthood and growing up that we lose the childlike faith that everything in God's creation is of beauty.  I still think that little white daisy-like flower was as beautiful as the flowers out of the fields my children bring to me with the biggest smiles on their faces.

On a more biblical approach to my memory, I challenge us to treat those people around us that do not look like us (who we consider or culture considers weeds) and value them like the the beautiful flowers they are.  Love those neighbors as you love yourself.  If you do not find value in yourself, know that Christ loves you more than anyone else would and know that he valued you enough to die for you.

Simple Battles But Important Victories

My daughter, Jessica, came up to me while I was in the middle of changing and dressing my youngest for the day.  With only 15 minutes on the clock before our Bible study and leaving for school she started reading the Bible lesson we were going to do for the day to me.  Everything in me wanted to say, honey we don't have time for this, we have to go, go, go!  Instead, somehow, the business of the morning did not drown out the still, sweet voice whispering to me, "Your daughter is reading my word, you can run late!"  I was reminded of another lesson that I have to learn again and again.  We have to be intentional and let God work in those sweet rare moments in a family of so many where I just have two of them (the other three running around the house like crazy people) and one wants my attention.  I stood there holding Sadie and listened to my 7 year old read a story about one of Jesus' miracles.  She read it beautifully and was so proud of herself.  Still though I found myself in battle....all the voices in my head, "Hurry, we have to go!"  vs. "Be still and listen!" forced me to be distracted.  It is hard to be still some times, ok, most of the time.  As a mother of five, still is not an option most of the time.  Most of the time the only way I eat is standing up.  However, let us be intentional to find those still sweet times to listen to our children and disciple them.  They also teach us a lot about ourselves.

 By the way...we were only 5 minutes later to school than normal but still before school started.  That in itself, is a miracle!

The first entry......

God has this habit of when He wants you to do something, He is.......well, relentless to not let you forget it.  Such is the creation of this blog.  I have been doing a study for the past couple weeks on the Holy Spirit and have been reminded that He will provide.  I sat under a good Word from one of our pastors who said this..."God never demands anything from you he doesn't put in you first".  Ouch!!!  I am having a hard time running from the voice in my head that continues to say....Write!!!  Well, Here it is Lord.  Do with it what you may.

The name Grace Covered Sheep comes from the fact that I have a wonderful shepherd...One that leads me in the direction for His glory.  In that I am covered by His Grace...daily.  When I mess up, Grace!  When I feel like giving up, Grace!  When I follow, Grace!  When the lion is prowling...Grace!   It is all around me and I love that.

John 10: 3-5 says, "The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep recognize his voice and come to him.  He calls his own sheep by name (I LOVE THIS....HE IS PERSONAL!!!!) and leads them out.  After he has gathered his own flock, he walks ahead of them, and they follow him because they know his voice.  They wont follow a stranger; they will run from him because they don't know his voice."

Things coming up in my family's life.  We are selling our home.  This in itself will give many hilarious stories on how to market a home with five children ages 7 and under.  We are downsizing...this in itself will also provide some humor as we learn how to live on top of each other successfully.  We are opening our eyes to the poor, the orphan, the widow, the needy.  We are praying that the spirit will guide us (much like sheep) to the place, town, house he wants us in.  I can't wait to see what this looks like. Mainly, we are stepping out of our comfort zone to help plant a church 30 minutes south of where we live now.  I pray we listen to the sweet voice of our shepherd and RUN from any other voices that may come our way.